…are being written about here and now in their own link of perma. Otherwise, this will be another one of my 8 page posts. And I know how much you hate those.
We rolled into Bend, OR late Thursday morning. We were tired. I had a sore throat, Dave Wilcox was now calling everyone his “bitch,” and Thom “Don’t leave out the H just yet” Parsons couldn’t break away from his Christopher Walken impersonation.
If Thom would ever post the 4th segment of the road trip, you would all be able to share our experiences during those last few hours, but I guess he’s just to busy doing absolutely nothing.
Thursday afternoon, Dave Wilcox, Matt Simpson and I made plans to meet Tim Johnson at the venue to ride a few laps on the course.
I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE TIM JOHNSON, IT HAD BEEN TOO LONG!!!!!!
You guys just don’t understand our relationship. It’s so deep on so many levels. It’s so awesome. So fun. And funny. And serious. Seriously awesome. Seriously awesome and fun.
Want to see our love in action? Just look at our playful exchange at the end of this CyclingDirt interview taken just a few seconds after we rode the course:
Haha, we’re so cute together.
Do you see creepy fuggin’ Dave Wilcox in the background? You can’t hear him, but he’s chanting, “Red Bull’s my bitch, Red Bull’s my bitch, Red Bull’s my bitch…”
My thoughts on the course were that it was wet, cold, and muddy as s***. I couldn’t hold Tim’s wheel for more than two corners but I wanted to stay as close as possible to see how he rode the course. To stay close, I had to pedal through the 8-inch deep puddles he was coasting through to keep his feet dry.
I also noted Tim rode with a fender. I hadn’t planned as well as him.
I caught him, but no more than 10 seconds later my feet were so cold I quit. I mentally noted that I would have to do something about this on Saturday for my race.
We saw Meredith Miller and we had to beat some dude up for commenting on her butt.
I wasn’t actually registered for my race yet.
I surfed the USA Cycling website and saw that registration was cut off the night before each event at 8pm. Tomorrow’s event would be the qualifying time trials. Important?
“I talked to the race director, Chanzini, and he said we’re all good to go down tomorrow morning,” said the person who is the CEO/President/GM of Pedro’s but shall remain nameless.
“But it says you have to register the day before, you really think it’s ok?”
“I WOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT IT.”
A few hours, and still no sleep, later it was time for the Lazer/Pedro’s party at Sunnyside Cycles.
The event at Sunnyside was fun, except for some dinkwad that kept making jokes 5 of us would find funny in a small room. Or on a BLOG.
Wilcox kept turning to me and saying, “I can’t believe he’s saying that.”
“Me neither, Dave, me neither. But shut the fudge up so I can hear him.”
Dinner time.
Bed time.
Morning Time.
The Pedro’s dudes wake up early. I woke up as well and saw the nameless person who PROMISED me registration would not be a problem. He was going out for coffee, so I suggested we be the first ones to registration and sort the shiz out.
“Hi, Tom Mahoney? Brad Ross said you’re the man to switch out our registrations for today’s TT and tomorrow’s race.”
We got the look that was the equivalent of being smacked on the forehead with a large, flaccid, ding dong.
“Yeah, um, I wish I could do something here, but that needed to happen laaaaasssssstttttt nnnnniiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhttttttttttttttt.”
The room closed in and I collapsed to the floor. When I woke up to smelling salts I realized this was not a bad dream and that I had, indeed, driven 60 hours in a dung-smelling van with two people I hope to never see again, for nothing.
I sulked.
Then, in his first moment of brilliance, Mr. Pedro’s suggested I find the man who doesn’t take no shit from nobody, Richard Fries.
Like a Navy Seal sneaking a bomb onto the hull of a Russian Battleship, Richard Fries had me in front of officials and directors in seconds and before I could think another insult about Mr. Pedro’s I was registered for the the Masters 30-34 race.
But not the Time Trial.
No hole shot for this guy.
Instead, I would be starting here:
Who pinned those numbers?
1 year ago - read more...
