Punchy, Little Climbs - My Ass
Actual email exchange between Colin Reuter and myself two days before the Night Weasels Cometh:
Me: It sounds like it’s going to be hilly.
Him: Yeah, but short and punchy hills, so it’ll be good for a sprinter like you.
Liar!
I decided at some point, for no real reason other than I thought it might be fun, that I would prefer to race in mud.
When I verbalized my thoughts Wilichoski had only replied with, “You think your back hurts now?”
Mud I would get, it appeared, as it rained sporadically during the days leading to this week’s event, The Night Weasels Cometh. Then it poured all day the day of the event. The event’s organizer and jerk of a Cyclowhat.com interviewee is Colin Reuter. I raced one of his events last year as a Cat 4 on a Mountain Bike; The Ice Weasels Cometh.
It would seem Colin has been blessed by the Cyclocross gods, as last year’s Ice Weasels was graced with copious amounts of snow and the inaugural Night Weasels was being flooded by rain and cool, fall temperatures.
I left my house at about 3:00pm. I needed to stop at Wilichoski’s for a pair of Dugast Rhinos and a pair of Challenge Fangos. I hadn’t heard from my other “teammate” since I had told him I wanted to pick up a pair of the team tubulars the day before, but I tried stopping by his house anyway. After standing in the rain on his doorstep for 5 minutes, all the while being barked at by his stupidly named dogs, I eventually gave up on the wheels. As soon as I got in the car I got a text message from him: In Maine.
Sometimes I wish Stu hadn’t let Matt on the team.
I went to Wilichoski’s and looted his garage of two pairs of wheels. I looked around for anything else I might like and he might not realize was missing. If I had wanted a lot of dirty skinsuits that had been lying on the garage floor for an undetermined amount of time, this was a veritable goldmine.
About 90 minutes later I pulled into the parking lot of Ski Ward in Shrewsbury, MA. I was instantly impressed with the amount of organization of the event. The course looked like it would be fun both as a rider and spectator and there was plenty of easy parking.
I parked in a huge puddle.
At registration I was graced with the presence of Ryan “Size 15” Kelly and his unflattering Irish beard. I asked him to walk and talk with me and we discussed the newest LCD Soundsystem Album, Reuter’s poor choice of event music, and Ryan’s new passion for the band, Shit Robot.
Not wanting to leave this gripping conversation, I asked Ryan to continue talking to me while I used the Port-o-Potty. He obliged and I almost broke his nose as I opened to door to the blue box, surprised to see he had been talking to me no more than 3 inches from the door.
I met a Twitter persona, PJ McQuaid, and it went less awkwardly than those introductions typically do. PJ immediately jumped down my throat, accusing me of not yet posting my Gloucester Day 2 recap.
“Not so fast, Pajamas, that shit is live. It might suck, but it’s the reason I’m late for this falsely advertised event.”
PJ quickly and quietly withdrew to the safety of the blue, urine-scented, mini-tower and I went on my way, in no way in particular.
I think I saw Dave “God Bless” Chiu, but that’s forgettable.
Then, like an angel descending from the sky, Lyne Bessette appeared from around the corner. She said something in her indecipherable accent and I just nodded as if I understood. She had wheels for me, I think. And she needed clothing.
“Clothing, you need? Come with me, baby, and get changed in my Ford F 150. We’ll do it together. We’re both married, right? It’ll be our little secret, baby. D’accord?”
I gave Lyne my short-sleeved skinsuit and she gave me a second pair of Rhinos.
I saw Sabatini warming up on the trainer. I called him a pussy, but not loud enough that he could hear. I laughed. I was cold.
I got kitted up, mate, and put on my version of rain pants - North Face Ski Pants. They felt nice.
I rode toward the course and there she was again.
“Bonjour, Lyne, ça va? Tu veux aller rouler sur le parcours?”
“Of course, mon petit chou,” she replied. We would ride in the wet grass together.
“My feet are cold, Lyne, I don’t want to do this anymore.”
With that my warmup was complete and I would retreat to the warmth of anywhere but on my bike.
So it turns out Reuter is an idiot and doesn’t know how to design a course that takes more than 5 minutes for the Cat 4 field to complete. He was informed by Diane Fortini, in what I am considering to have been a conspiracy aimed at stifling my success, that he would have to lengthen the course. Sadly, the only way to lengthen the course was by going further up the hill.
After some tire pressure discussion with Jesse Anthony and a plea for him to work for me in the pits, the Cat 4s finished and we found ourselves with some time to ride the course. I saw Jesse’s brother, Josh “The Real Hole Shot” Anthony and we headed out together. Two corners later we were climbing up Mount Everest, traversing like I did as a child on the steep hills of Block Island. Josh was walking because he had thought bringing a single ring setup with a 42 chain ring would be a good idea at a ski resort. I was laboring in my 39 x 27 and it seemed everyone around me on this easy lap was having a much easier time.
In all fairness, after climbing for 4 of the 5 minutes one needed for the lap, the rest of it was amazingly fun. It wasn’t too muddy - yet - so you could still grab some grip on the grass to the outsides of the corners. I’d give the blow by blow course recount, but I’m already 30 pages deep on this post and I haven’t even started the race yet…Editor, anyone?
During the warm up lap, the course was extended and we headed down to the staging area to still start on time. Impressive work, Reuter. Impressive, indeed.
I was in the second row, directly behind Sabatini. Next to Sabatini was Doug Kennedy, the man I suspected to win the race.
I grabbed Sabatini’s rear tire and asked him, “You sure about that tire pressure?”
Completely forgetting how stupid I am, he looked back at me, panicked. Luckily, for him, the guy next to me laughed and told Sabatini that that was the oldest trick in the book.
I told Kennedy his rear wheel was on backwards and we got the whistle. As we approached the first corner, a few photographers tried to snap some photos and they chose to use their flashes which immediately elicited cries from the field. We were blind. And we were all going to die!
A few people got bogged down in what was already a pretty muddy portion of the course and it was getting single file pretty quickly. There were a few sharp turns before we started the real climb, and people were still jockeying for spots, bumping elbows and riding in the tape. I keep forgetting that this isn’t the road and that when I say, “On your left,” that person is going to move to their left and close the door on you. I need to run silent and run deep.
Yeah, submarines.
I managed to hold a top 5 position over the top of the climb and I felt pretty good. We wound up and down and all around the course until we were at the barriers on the other side of the course. I felt pretty solid over the barriers but then my required mechanical mishap occurred.
Upon remounting and starting to pedal, I didn’t move. I thought I dropped my chain off the chain ring, so I shifted it up and tried to get it on the ring, but it was already on. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, mostly because I could only see the mud that was already caked on my eyeballs. It turned out my chain had slipped into my wheel, behind my 27 cog. I fingered it back onto the cassette and went back about my business, restarting in the top 15.
You can watch me go from good to bad in this Video. Just look for the Banana Shoes…and around :35 to :41 I pedal straight to nowhere on the right side of the frame…Whoops.
I was a little frazzled from this and felt myself getting frantic and before I got a hold of myself I tried to gas it out of a corner and threw the rear wheel out from under me. I realized, after that foolish fall, that it was time to settle back in and just find a tempo and I chose the beginning of lap two to do that.
I was able to pick off a few spots during the next lap and I even found Sabatini who was probably suffering from poor tire pressure…I got around him and moved into the top 12, according to Jake Sisson and Jesse Anthony who were doubling as pit crew and hecklers.
I passed Oscar from Gloucester cleanly.
At the bottom of the hill on lap 3, Colin Reuter’s protege, Ryan White, was on my ass. I didn’t know this until I heard from behind, “Thank God for the 27!” See, I recognized that voice from a recent video from Gloucester Day One, where the rider with the camera yells, at second 35, “I got it on video! Woo Hoo!” His voice was unmistakable. I was laboring a bit and he was talking pretty comfortably. I knew I was fucked. He passed me.
The second half of the race ended up being the exact opposite of the first for me. Once the gaps had been established and everyone was strung out, the race actually became somewhat peaceful. On the back side it was considerably darker than near the finish and it was dead quiet back there. This actually made the climbing almost enjoyable. Almost. It was easy to find your groove and it was nice out there trudging through the mud in the quiet darkness.
Nothing ever changed after I was passed by Ryan White and I just rode around a fun, muddy course, actually listening to the race commentator call the action at the front of the race. It was the best of both worlds; watching (or listening to) the race from a far and also participating.
I ended up with a 10th place finish and I know I couldn’t have stayed with those front guys even if I hadn’t had my mechanical mishap, so I was happy with the finish. And while the mud did hurt my back, I assume it hurt everyone’s back, so there’s that. I think the fun of riding down through the muddy corners far outweighed the back pain from the muddy hills.
All in all, Colin has a knack for organizing fun events and the addition of a weeknight race in early October is a welcome one and I hope this event continues and grows as it deserves.
Looking for some photos of the Night Weasels? Check the links here: http://www.crossresults.com/race/1239#r40182
And there are some photos here.
And I think I might go race BMX on Monday with Rob Bauer. Full face helmet.
1 year ago - read more...
